tina 的个人资料┼♥Psychological Freak ♥┼...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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5月14日 life make no sense"what am i doing? Nothing. what am i thinking? Nothing." i talked to myself when walkin in the darkness, music flowin in my head. i've been questioning myself what's wrong with me these days but i don't know the answer. this is the way i choose but not what i want. Life shouldn't be such a whore. why is it so hard to survive in my world but seems easy in others? why did i give myself so much pressure even i told myself i don't care? why am i still unhappy when i am living the way i thought was the easiest? i can't stand that the thoughts are pushing me into a deep well. a feeling been covered for a long time is going to burst out. but i can do nothing. can't say a word. can't think. can't find a way. can't dream. can't fight. all i got is music, which is the most important in my life. anything, anyone else becomes vague and meaningless. i stepped out the school gate. i was standing in the middle of the road watching cars passing by. Suddenly i was EAGER to escape. i wish i had the courage to go away alone to some completely new place. the eagerness was so strong but my feet can't move to the opposite direction. i was told i should go back to the dormitory by my will. adventure doesn't suit me. a sudden escape isn't what i likely do. on my way dorm, i kept thinking. it's a mess in mind. i thought my life is okay but turns out to be a huge lie! i told myself i was just searching but i don't even know what im searching for. i picked up the reading hobby thought it would bring me peace. however i've given up reading when i hadn't noticed yet. i remember i used to be energetic and passionate about life and future. now, every desire was put out, together with hopes and dreams. a 2-month peaceful life finally cut me. i couldn't help sobbing all the way. i didn't even go back into the dorm building. i tried to calm myself but every thoughs turned to more tears dropping down... i was scared by myself losing control. ... life make no sense. i hate myself 5月9日 我被V表扬了她表扬了我. V
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